The process of elimination
For what feels like a very long time now, I have been in this cycle of trying to diagnose the bothersome symptoms that affect my day to day living. Lately, it’s safe to say that I’m growing tired of seeking an explanation because I don’t have much hope that I’m going to get one. Now, this is unlike me as I like to hold on real tight to hope like a child to candy. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can get us through the crappy days. However, I’m only human and I do have days where I feel frustrated and wonder if I’ll ever find the answer I’m looking for.
Most of the time I tell myself that the nausea, stomach issues and countless other ailments are just part of my condition and that I should accept them. But should I really have to accept that this is my new normal? Should I give up hope that there is no way of easing these symptoms? Me on a good day would say “Hell no, let’s get to the bottom of this!” However, after struggling with consistent discomfort it’s hard to stay positive and believe me I give it a bloody good try. I probably wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t have that positive spark inside of me.
The constant cycle I find myself in is the process of elimination. For example, because of my stomach issues I have developed food anxiety. So, whenever I’m presenting with stomach pain, nausea, GERD symptoms, I am looking for something to blame. Automatically I turn to food and start to eliminate what I think is the cause from my diet. The problem with this is that I have cut out so much that my diet is bloody boring and I really don’t look forward to eating anymore. My days of indulging in a Korma or eating a whole bar of chocolate are behind me and you know what, it sucks!
I haven’t yet found any real evidence that it’s a certain food group that is the cause of my problems. So, naturally I look for the next thing to blame. Anxiety. There is a lot of research on the gut-brain axis which I am yet to dive into in hope for some answers. But what I have heard so far would explain my gut issues because I am naturally an anxious person. However, I find it hard to get my head around the fact that my anxiety could cause so much discomfort in my stomach. I’ve always been convinced that there has to be a physical problem somewhere.
If I do come to the conclusion that it is my anxiety, then my next question is how do I stop worrying so much? I’m sure this is a question that most of us ask ourselves 20 times a day. The difficulty is that even when I don’t think I’m worrying, my gut issues persist, so is it my subconscious mind? I mean it’s no wonder the frustration sets in, my head is spinning.
I know this all seems very doom and gloom but as I mentioned earlier, I do like to cling to hope, so here’s a couple of things I’m going to try. Firstly, accepting that I’m not going to magically stop worrying. Instead I will accept the worrying thoughts and then counteract them with something positive. This way I’m more conscious of being anxious and I can actively do something to distract myself. Secondly, when my symptoms are bad, I’ll try not to catastrophize the situation and look for something to blame. Instead I’ll accept the discomfort as a temporary feeling that will pass.
Hopefully the above will help to reduce my anxiety and therefore alleviate my symptoms. Also, it puts me in control of my situation, instead of feeling helpless and overwhelmed. I’m no doctor but this is what I’m prescribing myself, some good old mindset work. It all sounds achievable when writing it down but the hard part is going to be putting it into practice. But you know me, I’ll give it my best shot!
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