Recognising your resilience
The term resilience is not something I was familiar with until recently. Of course, I have heard the word used but never really had any personal connection to it. It’s not until it kept popping up in books that I was reading that I decided to dig a little deeper into it’s meaning.
What I discovered is that resilience is actually quite a big part of my everyday life. I realised that we are being resilient even when we don’t know it. For example, after a bad nights sleep due to a bout of nausea, still rising in the morning to tackle the days tasks head on, is showing resilience. It’s the little things that we do every day to push through our discomforts. These are things that we don’t give ourselves credit for because they seem so insignificant.
I don’t know about you but I am always comparing my small everyday struggles to the bigger things I have had to overcome in my life so far. Telling myself that I shouldn’t make a fuss because I have been through much worse. But the thing is, it’s all relative to that moment in time. Thinking ‘I’ve tackled much scarier things’ or ‘I’ve been in much more pain before’ is not going to help in that moment.
You have to give yourself credit for the way you handle what you’re going through right now. It could be taking that 15 minutes needed to deep breathe until the nausea eases or getting up to make yourself a cup of tea. You might think nothing of it but when you are suffering these are actually big wins and they need to be recognised. It’s so easy to throw in the towel and some days that is totally acceptable. Even more reason to make a bigger deal out of the times when, against all odds, you muster the strength to say take a shower or walk outside for some fresh air. Do a little happy dance, smile to yourself or give yourself a pat on the back. Trust me, you deserve it!
It’s really important to remember that it’s okay to admit when it’s not easy. I have always felt like I shouldn’t complain and that I have to show strength but in all honesty it’s not sustainable. I now consider that maybe being honest and admitting when I don’t feel good is actually braver because I’m showing vulnerability. Something I have learned a lot more about after reading Brené Brown’s ‘Daring Greatly’ which I recommended to everyone. It really is one of those life changing books, so make sure to put it on your Christmas list! Anyway, I am no longer scared to say ‘I feel like a pile of crap today and I don’t want to do anything’. Before I’d think that saying such a thing meant I was admitting defeat, when in fact it’s just me showing acceptance of my situation. Being brave enough to rock the messy hair, no make-up, shaggy jumper, slumming it look without feeling the need to explain myself.
This attitude has definitely helped me get through some rough days but I would be lying if I said that I had this mindset all the time. The negativity still creeps in on the regular and the voices in my head become so loud that I start to doubt myself and my capabilities. On these days, I will always pause and ask myself one question “What have I managed to achieve today despite feeling shitty?” and usually I am able to write a list of things like clearing up the kitchen, walking the dog, sending those emails, making the lunch, putting away the washing, etc. This always makes me feel better because I know how easy it could have been not to do those things. I mean they are not exactly thrilling activities but regardless, they do require action and effort.
I am mesmerised by how resilient we all are. How our minds, bodies and souls bounce back from the toughest of situations. Especially at the moment, we have a lot of added stresses and are facing a lot of uncertainty but yet we still manage to power on. I truly believe each and every one of us is capable of remarkable things and it’s about time we realised just how magical we are. It’s not about moving mountains, it’s the small steps we take every day that amount to something much greater.
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