How an emotional memory changed my mindset
Some days, when I’m feeling pretty low and trying my hardest to grasp at the very few positive straws I have left, I like to remind myself of a particular moment after my first operation and it more often then not helps me to put things into perspective.
I had been in hospital for a while by this point, I couldn’t tell you exactly for how long as my memory isn’t so great anymore and to be honest at the time it felt like an eternity. It was time for my ophthalmology (eye) appointment and my Mum had to take me in a wheelchair over to another part of the hospital. Being chauffeured was definitely one of the perks of this whole ordeal and trust me you have to take all the positives you can get. Anyway, as Mum wheeled me out of those double doors, we paused in the middle of the pavement and took in the deepest breath. I was so grateful to be out in the open, to feel the fresh air on my face, to see the blue sky and I felt lucky to be living. I remember looking up at my Mum, tears rolling down my face and I’m pretty sure she mirrored my emotions.
It’s a moment that’s stuck in my mind because that day nothing else mattered but simply being alive. People rushing past, going about their day with purpose. Me and Mum just grateful to step outside of those hospital doors, to inhale a scent that wasn’t sterile and to see the outside world. We had escaped the 4 cream coloured walls that had been a second home for us for quite some time. I often wonder how the both of us didn’t go mad, probably because we had each other and for that I am eternally thankful.
I swore to myself that day that I would never take the small things in life for granted. Moments as simple as stepping outside the door on your feet, taking in a breath of fresh air with your lungs and being able to take in your surroundings with your eyes, it is something that we give no second thought to. However, when you’re faced with loosing these things, they become so much more precious.
I’d say that I have held up my end of the bargain and I am more conscious to appreciate the everyday experiences I have. On the tough days I just have to remind myself of this moment between me and Mum and my worries no longer seem to have much weight to them. I also write a gratitude list every day, well almost every day and this helps me to be more mindful of the small things that I’m extremely fortunate to have. It could be as simple as being able to have a hot shower, having access to clean water and having a cosy jumper to wear.
You may be thinking how is a gratitude list going to help me when I am in the middle of an emotional rollercoaster and for some it might not. However, in my experience taking 5 minutes to focus on the small, positive things in your life can really help shift your mindset. It may not be a cure but it is a coping mechanism which I would highly recommend, so why not give it a go…
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