The Daily Stab
It’s safe to say I don’t think anyone particularly likes needles and why would they? I certainly grew up being petrified of them and remember the nurses having to pin me down when receiving a jab in school. How embarrassing?! But I just couldn’t avoid the fear that struck me even at the thought of a needle.
Fast forward to now, I’ve had to endure a LOT of needles and have been forced to overcome my phobia. If you had told the younger me that I would be injecting myself every day for the rest of my life, I would have ran a mile.
When I was in hospital there really was no escaping the needles. Countless blood tests, cannulas and injections were all part of my daily routine. As you can imagine this caused a lot of anxiety and I dreaded every time I was about to be pricked.
The worst memory for me was when they struggled to find a vein for my cannula. They were nowhere to be found, tired of being invaded and retreated deep inside. This meant a lot of failed attempts by a number of nurses and doctors. I remember one time it was like a competition “Who can find the vein” and I reckon they had bet money on it (I joke of course, no money exchanged hands).
My biggest challenge was when my consultant put me on growth hormone and told me I would need to inject myself every day. The thought of administering it myself felt impossible and I didn’t think I’d be able to do it. It might sound silly but I was always more comfortable with the idea of someone else stabbing me, they were professionals after all.
Anyway, after a very thorough tutorial from my nurse and a few little freak outs my end, I eventually got into the swing of it. As the time went on it become easier, I would feel less anxious and it was just part of my daily routine.
However, it seems that recently I’ve started to dread injecting of an evening. It’s almost like an impending doom that when I go up to bed I know I have to do it. A little dramatic maybe but it plays on my mind and we all know how loud those negative thoughts can be!
I had a rocky patch where my injection pen wasn’t working properly and I kept bruising. I think this started to make me feel nervous and made me loose my confidence. Also, my anxiety has been pretty bad recently and this has definitely contributed.
However, I have managed to find a way to make the process a little easier. I realised that my environment when injecting is super important. I need to feel relaxed, not under any pressure and I need to be alone. So, I now have a routine of sitting on the edge of the bed, preparing my injection pen and taking a few deep breaths. This helps to calm me if I’m feeling nervous and then I take my time injecting. I clear my head and just focus on the task in hand. When it’s over and done, I always let out a little sigh of relief and try to instantly forget about it.
It may seem that my above routine is way too O.T.T. for such a simple thing like an injection but when you suffer with anxiety these routines are necessary. They help to make the process easier and I don’t know about you but I’m all for making things easier for myself!
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